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Envious|Nature|of Women

 

 I realize this title may seem to some like a sweeping generalization or even a hyperbole. However, from my own empirical experiences, I’d beg to differ.  To some, it may even seem like a good thing to have people envious of you (Usher Raymond’s “Pop Your Collar”), but in truth envy and jealousy is never a good thing for the person who is envious or the person who is being envied; it can easily turn into fuel for hate (envy-er) and vain self-importance (envy-ee). I’d like to point out a few things about this envious nature in case you are confused. Let me note, age does matter, typically younger women, or women who still consider themselves to be young mostly fall into this category and it isn’t everybody but it’s a lot of bodies in my experience—it doesn’t matter state or city.

  1. TypeA who is gregarious and loves attention sees typeB who’s not into the “spotlight” mentality getting…with little to no effort…the same attention if not more attention than typeA— typeA now feels relegated and is now upset with typeB; it doesn’t matter if they know each other or not.  
  2. You’re out  (mall, movies, grocery store, etc) …you don’t have to be dressed up over the top or anything..you have an extemporaneous look, maybe even dressed down… just handling your business and you pass a female stranger (white) and she looks at you with annoyed intimidation mildly glazed in her eyes…starting from your face…then down the rest of your body and then stares into your face again. The look says, “Just who do YOU think you are?
  • For another woman (black American)…the motion is the same, maybe just staring into your face or looking up and down your body, but the look is different. This look says “You ain’t ALL that”.
  • From another woman (Asian, Latina, African, other) the look is stupefied disbelief, like “Impossible….”

It’s the expression on their faces that tell all and I don’t even think they are even aware of their expression, but obviously me looking back into their faces, I can plainly see it for what it is.

Of course, I’ve had more positive experiences with this as well (white, black, other) they would look, and nothing is wrong with that but, guess what? They don’t have that look of annoyed intimidation of their faces and they speak  or smile  (an authentic smile). It’s a look of admiration, if nothing more. Some will say they appreciate your outfit or your beauty; some will simply say hello. I mean seriously, it is rude, to look and stare and have an ugly expression on your face all at once and not even say “Hi” or have some better acknowledgement.

  • Just to throw another out there because there are many, you have females of any and every race and background that are with their boyfriends/husbands, and as you pass, she all of a sudden, holds him close or literally moves his face to another direction, some even dare him to look your way and again gives you the “look” (laughs). It’s really sad and onerous. It’s mostly insecurity about self. Get beyond that by loving yourself, first.

Some women don’t have a lot of female friends, some not any because of this envious nature and I can relate. Also as a result, most of them have more male friends than female. Yes, just friends not friends with benefits. They may say things like,” They are jealous of me” or “They start too much drama”. Now maybe some of you, who were fortunate enough to find true sisterhood (love, unity, and honesty), may think something is wrong with the person who says any of those things. Maybe it is them and not the other woman they accuse. Well, maybe you are right, but can that be true in every situation? It’s highly unlikely. I have many personal experiences with people I actually knew and was close to, but that will have to wait another day in  another blog entry .On a higher note though, I’ve always believed that having a few good friends, male and/or female,  is much better than having 15  lousy “friends”.

 

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1 Comment»

  indigoblu wrote @

Amir:
Not every woman is this way, I hope I didn’t give this impression but a lot of them are. You are correct–a lot of times, women don’t really talk about this. It’s kind of “understood”. I think it starts with loving and appreciating yourself first though, then you can appreciate and have love for others with no envy attached.


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