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“Good” Goodbye 2015

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https://youtu.be/jm9ubd3iqnM

I’m very emotional today and I don’t really have an explanation for it. Of course, I’m reflective of this year, but it’s not merely that. I just know that we were born into this world full of emotion and we go out of the world full of emotion, and although intellect got me through high school, undergrad, and vet school…emotion has propelled and prepared me throughout life. So, I’ve made peace with myself about not feeling ashamed as tears make a pathway down my face in this moment or any future moments. I know that as countless smiles and laughs  have left it’s mark through 2 visible trails of lines on either side of my refined, small lips,  there are many yet to come. Although, that phrase has a double meaning.

As I think of my life in all it’s glory and pain, I see my growth and lack thereof. It makes me want to do better and  be better in spite of all the changes and unprocessed situations. I pride myself on being real, upfront, straight forward. Then I think of how much I’ve held myself back from crying  (often a bitter, but necessary and sweet release), speaking my heart and mind, speaking my truth and I think..”You’re not the realistist you thought you were; you’re not quite where you should be in life; you’ve  made a lot of amateur mistakes.”

There were many moments that I spent  massive  time and energy beating myself up over the mistakes I’ve made, over  informed but wrong decisions  I’ve made that I can’t call mistakes . I’d honestly yet compassionately just call stupid.

At this point,  I can finally see myself. I can see where I was, where I am, where I want to be, but most importantly where I’m destined to be, in spite of mistakes and the struggle…as hard as it may seem and it will eventually get ..with every small detail all worth it.

The appreciation for who I’ve become-those experiences, places, and people who helped mold me..break me…build me up…stregthen me…set a foundation..chiseled away at my edges…went in for the kill.. it sustains my strength..which is my spirit to remain relentless and assures me that there is love and there is God and both those things abide within one.

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1 Comment»

  Keron wrote @

Welcome back Kris! Truly a refreshing to read words from the heart that speaks to the soul. One of your biggest fans 🙂


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